How to cope with change
“Don’t underestimate yourself. You are more capable than you think.”
Throughout our lives, we’re all faced with change that we don’t choose: life throws something at us, and we have to cope with it. Changes often come in the form of something small (not necessarily tennis balls), like a new yoga instructor (when you just loved the old one); your favourite local store being turned into another Tesco Metro; or being passed up for a promotion at work. We’re used to coping with things like these - small changes which we haven’t chosen - and pivoting to meet the requirements of our new reality, usually without even realising we’re doing it. But sometimes, unwanted change comes in the form of something BIG - like redundancy, bereavement, or COVID - which challenges our coping skills. If you can find me someone that hasn’t had unwanted change - in some form or another - thrown at them in the last few years, then I’m fairly confident they haven’t been living on planet earth.
It’s not unusual to feel completely overwhelmed by unwanted change, and most of us respond to it in the normal way: by shutting down, eating more chocolate (my personal vice!), drinking more wine, and/or yelling at the kids and the cat more. But if we’re honest, we probably know that this isn’t the most constructive response. In fact, what we really need to do is to remind ourselves that we are capable of way more than we think we are, and strong enough to cope with what life throws at us: that whatever change we are facing, we will get through it.
Social media is rife with motivational messages, like: “imagine your worst day ever, and remember that you got through it!”. Well it’s true, and it’s important to remind ourselves of that. Most of us have coped with some pretty challenging situations up until now and we’ve lived to tell the tale.
I’ve been running training and coaching programmes for over twenty years now, and I love to give people a little gift at the end. One of my absolute favourites is a little pencil case which I found on a well-known website, which says: “Sometimes you forget you’re awesome, so this is your reminder”. I can’t really put it any better than this. We’re all awesome, and we’re all capable of so much more than we realise, sometimes we just need reminding.
So, when you’re facing change that life throws at you, try to believe in yourself and keep hold of the fact that you will be able to cope through it - even if there are times when you feel like you can’t. You’re stronger than you realise and more capable than you give yourself credit for; and even if that line sounds like a Hallmark card, it is the absolute truth.
If you don’t want to believe that, or you can’t believe it because it feels too difficult right now - and I know because I’ve been there - then borrow my belief.
Borrow my belief in you, because I know you’ll get through it.
